Who wears short shorts?….

Everyone!!!!

Ok. So I work in retail; specifically ladies appearal targeted at the 15-21 age range. The months of May and June are a nightmare for me with the constant struggle between parent and child of what is an acceptable length of short to wear.  The fact that the battle rages on all over social media, makes it in escapable. I’m seriously kind of over it: I quit. Do whatever. 


I’m honestly on both sides of the coin here. I get that it’s important for young people to learn to respect dress codes because they’re going to encounter it in the workplace. It’s not a ridiculous or overbearing thing to be pushing onto young people. It’s not like their wardrobe is being controlled 24/7. 

However I do feel that dress codes are gender biased and could use some retooling. Like shorts for example (which is where the most hell takes place), are usually required to be fingertip length. That doesn’t exist anymore. You can’t buy them anywhere. My store has some that are just fingertip for me. I’m 5’9″ but I’m a size ten. There are 14 year olds that are 5’9″ now that are a size 2 and with how lanky they are, it doesn’t go that long on them. And with how long their legs are…… it looks too short. But if you look at their inseams or butt,  they’re well covered. So I think it’s ok. The girls like them because they’re not too long and the moms like them because their butts aren’t hanging out. Should be problem solved. Nope. Too short for school because it doesn’t pass their fingers. Seriously?!?!

This is considered inappropriate under most schools dress codes


I’m not going to start going into the whole girls should be allowed to wear whatever they want without being sexualized rant because that will take up too much time. But honestly, if it doesn’t look like they’re trying to work the corner or going to a nightclub, leave them alone. 

My favorite example from my teen years was way before this debate got so crazy. At least girls can wear tank tops now. We had to have a cap sleeve!!! Sorry, still bitter….. Now back to my point. I was in a fitness class doing 5km+ runs. I got in trouble for taking off my shirt and running in my sports bra in 25C weather (when I wasn’t even on school property, but because it was class time I got in trouble).  The boys however could run shirtless. My argument was that I had on more clothes than they did. Still in trouble. Girls have to keep shirts on, but boys can go shirtless because they don’t have breasts. We couldn’t even wear muscle tanks, you couldn’t tie your shirt up. Had to be full proper Tshirts (I didn’t even go to a stuffy catholic school). I wanted to drop from heat stroke one day to prove my point. That was bullshit. 

Doesn’t look much different to me


So let’s take a second to chill. If a girl doesn’t have her ass cheaks hanging out, who really cares? I don’t. Let’s worry about making sure they understand financial responsibility, being a good person, how to take care of themselves and learning to make good choices. I think that’s the most important thing. If you teach them the big picture, I’m pretty sure they can get dressed and learn what’s appropriate vs it being shoved down their throats causing them to rebel. 

So girls grab whatever shorts you want. It’s your call. 

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Sometimes You Need To Kick Your Own Ass…

TRICK QUESTION, ITS ALWAYS!!

No one is more invested in yourself but you. It’s the simple down and dirty of it. Get of your ass. Don’t make excuses. No one has your ass chained to a couch!!!!! Even if they did, you could still get up and do some squats, push ups and sit ups. Long story short, its all you. You call the shots. If you don’t like where you’re at, take a long look on the mirror. 

Also, don’t put all your stock into what you fucking look like or where you are. Even at the best point in my life, I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror and say, “you are beautiful”.  I did last week, at my fucking worst, and that meant a lot. You can pick how you tackle the shit. 

I’m in need of a serious overhaul and this was my pep talk. And I will keep developing this plan and growing it and living it and making that shit work until I get what I want. I’M DONE CRYING. AND YOU SHOULD BE TOO. 

 

Yep that’s real. I got mad at myself. And you’ll hear all about it because I will blog more. Promise. 
Keep strong beauties and beasts. 

Inner strength 

It doesn’t matter what comes at you, how you let is shape you entirely rests on how you handle the situation. I could go on, blah blah blah (carrot, coffee, egg).


My life has had ups and downs. I’m not unique. My fitness goals didn’t start until 26 because I hadn’t needed any until then, but they’ve had their ups and downs too. Everyone has that. It’s so important that you never give up. That’s what gets you there. 

Somethings that work for me that might for you (and remember I’m not perfect either, so don’t panic about getting everything right).  Maybe they won’t and that’s ok too.  But I like to share in hopes I make a difference to one person. 

-keep a log going of how many days you’ve been hitting your goal without a miss. Beat that day count the next time without a miss. You will extend your good streaks and slowly create those good habits. 


-it’s about getting back on the horse, not how many times you’ve fallen off. Shake it off and get back to it. 


-find what drives you. I hate running, so my cardio routine sucks if I plan to run that week. I’ve gotten into rowing lately, so by using that as my cardio tool I miss less cardio sessions.

-inner strength. I can’t stress enough how mental health affects your overall fitness. Yes, you will feel less depressed by working out because exercise gets the good stuff flowing in your body/brain. But you need to build your soul muscles too (trust me, they’re real). Find out why you’re sad, come up with a plan and attack it. Don’t be with people who don’t lift you up. There are so many things that you can be active on. Don’t settle for being unhappy. Once you get the inside happy, the outside changes will come too. 


And it’s not crap; for the record. My boss used to tell me “fake it till you make it”. I hated the saying. I was always like, “but I’m not fake”.  Long story short, it did work. My work life is amazing now and I’m starting to be able to identify problems and poisonous people in my life.  Please put as much work into your soul as you try to do with your body. Your future self will thank you. 

Stay strong my beauties and beasts. 

You matter to someone, and that makes all the difference. 

Sometimes less is more

I’ve been crushing my gains and setting new PRs almost every week. Which is sweet, but I know too that it will slow down eventually. But today I took a step back and it really paid off.

My chest has been my biggest gain and I’m regularly pressing with what used to be my one rep max last year. Cool stuff! But this morning I wasn’t feeling awesome but I dragged my ass to the gym anyway because that is what has to be done if you want success in fitness. So I decided to go for a more quality workout than just going to the max. I dropped my weights down, made sure my form was solid, kept my ROM where it should be and did some pauses in my sticky zones. I noticed some form abnormalities which would have gone unnoticed if I had just been pushing the heavy weights to get the reps done. 

So short story short today: sometimes taking a step back to check your situation out can pay off. And I think you can apply that to almost anything in your life. 

Also small rant…. google chest press and this is what you get for images. All the women are doing dinky dumbells and men are doing big presses. This is ridiculous. Stupid stereotypes. 

Mind Your Own Fooding Business!!!

I think when it comes to health, fitness and life, the biggest struggle for most of us is what we eat. Honestly, if we all ate healthily all the time, we would never need exercise or just not as much of it. I know I eat like crap. I hate that I’m struggling to get my life on track. It also pains me when I see morbidly obese people in my family chug gallons of soda…… And I don’t say a thing. 


There’s an excellent reason why I don’t talk. It’s because people shut down. They are grownups and they don’t need to be told what they already know. They know it’s bad, and until they convince themselves otherwise, you’re just being patronizing. However, that doesn’t stop me from helping them. 

It comes down the the classic dichotomy of the boss vs leader. Boss just tells you what to do and not do. The leader shows you how to develop and grow yourself into a more successful person. Instead of barking at my family about how they’re going to die from diabetes, I share my new love for making fruit infused ice cubes to make water more fun. They learned something new and it inspires them to try other things. 


You also have to be so uplifting when they do something that’s in the right direction. If they are at diner and they choose that water instead of their usual sugar-filled carbonated poison…. make sure they know you’re proud of them for making the choice. And I stress that it’s about THEM. Don’t comment that they finally started to listen to YOU. Because you’re back to being the boss who can’t mind their own beeswax. 

If someone makes a healthy choice, don’t tell them the 15 other things they need to be doing also or instead. That’s overwhelming and can make them feel like the one thing they’re doing is wrong or not good enough. Getting fit and making changes is baby steps. Telling them their first or even seventh step is wrong could send them back to the beginning or even more backwards. 


Lastly don’t talk about yourself. What works for you may not work for them. Yes earlier I said I shared something that I fell in love with. I was just randomly talking about life without pushing an agenda. If they are interested, they will pick it up. I’m not doing these things to push my interests on them. I’m excited if I inspire them. But I’m not telling them they have to do what I do to be successful. My new vegan recipe hunting does nothing for the person who orders out every day. They’re going to tune me out if I keep talking that way, and eat a big greasy burger just to spite me. 

Long story short: unless you’re helping someone to elevate themselves….. mind your own fooding business. 

Say Yes to the Chest

Here we are on another Muscle Monday!!!  So, what I’ve noticed about fitness habits from strolling around the internet and busting it at the gym, is that men neglect leg day and women only do leg day. There are some exceptions to the rule, but that seems to be the general trend. 

I know a lot of women fear “looking manly”, so they don’t like to lift heavy weights or do a lot of upper body work. However, they will squat and lunge until they can’t stand to make sure they have a nice behind and legs. But what’s wrong with having sculpted arms and a nice chest too?


I don’t think enough women are educated (in the specifics of building muscle) to understand that it takes years and dedication to strength training to look like a man. And it’s not their fault, it’s just a lack of research into muscke building (because it’s nit what they want and are not looking). That leaves them to be of the common belief that by lifting only 10lbs lots of times, they will get those defined arms they’re looking for without gaining volume or overall masculinity. This will never work becase we lift things in our day to day life that on average weigh 5-10lbs. If you do that at the gym, you’re not challenging your body and therefore you will see no changes. 

Training different muscle groups will gain you more overall muscle mass which in in turn burns more calories while your body is at rest (hooray for weight loss).  However, if you’re not challenging your body to new weights and new exercises, you won’t see any improvement. I know it can be intimidating for women to go grab a bench and start pushing out reps. For most, the bar is probably too heavy to even work with (WHICH WAS ME TWO YEARS AGO). So start on some machines just to get used to putting those new muscle groups to work. Then with some confidence you can take on the bench. And ask for help. Ask the cute guy that is over there pushing out some reps right now!


It never negatively affect you to get stronger. Infact, by doing chest specifically you are going to make everything look perkier up top… which no woman has ever complained about. So don’t be afraid to start challenging that upper body. I promise you won’t regret it. Say yes to working your chest!!!

My experience with changing routine:

I only did legs and abs. I was a dancer growing up so it was easy, and that’s all I cared about. Then I decided to try and branch out for a more balanced firgure, and to take off my post baby weight gain. This was also age 29 vs age 22. 

I hated doing chest days. My LEAST favorite muscle group to work because it was my weakest. But I pushed through the tough times and found success. When I first started, I couldn’t make it through two sets of 8 with just the bar. I felt like a dumbass. But through the years I’ve learned that no body laughs at anyone at the gym. It’s not like high school. Just keep doing your thing and you will get better.

Not me….


Through perseverance and positivity from the awesome people around me, I’ve gotten stronger. Now I love chest days. My one rep max two summers ago is now my working weight (80lbs). That’s double from where I started. So don’t worry about being sore, or looking weak or silly. You’ll make progress and you’ll be happy you did. 

Keep working it my beauties and beasts!!!!!

This is me

It’s about the “not”

Another trending Tuesday, and I think it’s just as important to talk about what is not in fashion as is what’s trending. Because I could drone on all day about particular fashion trends and you may hate them all. And let’s face it, some things that are super trendy come and go so quick, you can’t keep up. 

Now that we’re coming into spring, a new season is always a great chance to start fresh. New hair, new clothes and a fresh outlook on anything in your life. So what can you ditch from the closet rotation? Anything that you can’t find ANYWHERE.  This is the focus on the “not”.  Example: If you’ve gone to 15 stores to find flare style yoga pants and can’t find any, they are NOT in fashion and you need to leave the idea that you are going to keep wearing them behind. 


I’m not saying jump into things you don’t like or that aren’t flattering on your body. There are many styles to chose from that you can find out there now. I’m saying you need to get out of your 10 year old rutt of stuff that has been ‘working’ for you. Change is hard, I get it. When we find something we like, we stick to it hard. But it’s not going to hurt to try something new. 

How can you change it up? Here are some easy steps. 

-go window shopping: go around and just wander the stores with zero adgenda of buying, that way there is no pressure. Look around and see what’s in fashion. Do you like anything? 

-ask for help: anytime you go in a store, associates will ask you if there is anything your looking for. Your typical response (like anyone’s) is “I’m just browsing “.  And for now you are…. But ask!!!! Say “I’m looking to change my wardrobe can you just show me what’s new, or what you think will suit my body type”.  They will help you. You don’t need to buy anything. You can tell them that you’re just beginning to warm up to the idea of change. They will be patient. Also this is a good way for you to find the most helpful stores too. 


-ask a friend: who is always in the know in your circle? It’s good to use the help of someone you trust, if you’re worried about an honest opinion. If you’ve got a fashionista friend, they’re going to be 100% behind you (and super excited) to update your look. 

-be positive: it may take a while, so stay positive. Don’t let it get you down if you’re having a hard time finding something. You’ve been rooted into your wardrobe for how long? It’s going to take a while to find something that you like that’s different. 

-don’t knock it until you try it: you make think something is not your style. But you could put it on, and it could be the best looking thing in you. Try on everything and see what shakes out. You never know…. maybe that thing on the hanger does or does not work for you. It always look different on the hanger. 


So start looking right away because new spring collections are hitting stores now. Take a look around… can’t find your thick strap tank tops that you’ve worn with your flare low rise jeans since high school? Its time to change it up. Even just a little. 

Good luck out there my beauties and beasts.